RE: To coin-flip or not to coin-flip - see Marto's Blog for details!

Fate. Kismet. Chance. Coincidence. Whatever.

As I came across Marty's blog - the Steve Jobs' addresse - I thought the apple doesn't fall far from the ipod! I further went on to read Levs' apology (not the "i'm sorry" type, the other...look it up!) for Jobs' and his commentary. Then, to add onto that, I checked out the comments by anonymous (I'm assuming either IK or SAJ). So, naturally, I felt the need to chip-in-my-two-cents!

As inspiring as Jobs' speech was (and you should read it), and as realistic as Marty's dissection of said speech was, the fact remains that in one's life, one must make their own decisions.

I'm an expert on this topic, and as I stated at the begining (kinda), this particular posting on Marty's site was fate, etc. For I have been contemplating and dissecting and introspecting and suspecting and any other "ing" you wanna use for the past few weeks/months (possibly years, though maybe in my subconsciousness).

I have a decision to make. It's a biggie too - and no, its not about whether or not to watch this movie or that movie or to colour-code my closet - but it's about my life (and to me, that's a big deal).

I need to decide what is it exactly that I'm going to do for a career. Am I going to reach for the stars, dream big dreams, accept my fate, further accept my reality, take control of my destiny or be led like a sheep in the heard. Furthermore, if I ultimately choose to step right, will I REGRET years later perhaps, that I did not choose to turn left instead?

Can I live with such second-guessing? Should anyone? And so, then I come across these posts/commentaries and I laugh. Irony is a bitch! I don't quite know where I'm going with this, so forgive the ramblings of a babbling Jew, but I think you just helped make my decision making process slightly less askew.

The fact remains that there's nothing wrong with reaching beyond the heavens for that piece of fame or golden horseshoe or whatever - famous actor? star poker-player? first person in their neighbourhood to eat 350 frozen dinners in 24-hour period - whatever! On the flip side, there's nothing wrong with staying the course, settling for a more reasonable and/or achieveable and ultimately sustainable career. $65,000/year is good coin. $100K is better and yet, $24,500 is enough to survive on too!

I think the true test here, is not to dream of running away to India or wherever (why India only Vishnu knows, me personally, I'd have analagized somewhere like Colombia or Peru or San Salvador). And as a brief aside - even if you choose India etc. so what?! The bottom line - you have to accept your choice. You have to be content that it's the right move for you. This choice is not meant to be easy or fun or fulfilling for that matter - that's for the future to play out.

Life's a bitch sometimes. Good people get fucked over for no reason, bad people sneak on by, fence-sitters eventually get hemherroids - and its hard, trust me, its very hard to watch those you admire/respect/envy/hate/whatever pass you by. They're seemingly making the right choices and doing well - but reality is that they're doing what's right for them - and they may or may not be loving the process just the same!

Advice, whether solicited or not, is merely the opinions/guidance/experiences of those who've been "there" before you. Advice is all around us. I've gotten some fantastic advice recently - more like perspective, but it's the same thing. The reason I say its so fantastic, is that sadly its been barely uttered by the words of a loveable, dying woman. Though frail and sadly beaten by the motherfucker that is cancer - her mind is razor-sharp! Her words, are poignant, succinct, brutally honest and most of all sincere. They're painfully uttered with the goal of helping me to steer clear of ill-decisions. I appreciate them, and I will do my utmost to honour them, and to honour her alike. I've clearly rambled and babbled waaaay off course. I have a lot on my mind.

I do however think, that in the end, when you're alone with your thoughts and memories, you have to hope that you've done well. Be proud of your decisions, accept fate sometimes, other times, control the destiny of your universe, manipulate the outcome, rig the game, give to charity, kiss your mother, hug your father, smile at strangers, play with children, colour outside of the lines, splurge on gifts - for you, for those you love, for those you're trying to love - take a chance, test boundaries, get into a fight, make up, stand-up for your principles, learn when to back down, argue, listen, sleep-in - a lot!, apologize, fuck' em, do for yourself, do for others, steal something, return a lost/found item, be yourself, make up a story...bottom line - choose. struggle with choice. and then...as hard as it is...decide - that's where I'm at now, and let me tell you it's not fun, but deep down I rely on the fact that ultimately, I'll have done my best, and in the end that's all I care about.

Thanks for reading, thanks to Marty, thanks to Steve Jobs.

P.S. Nothing wrong with being Bono - other than the fact that no one, not on this earth or elsewhere can ever BE BONO...only Bono is Bono!

Just be a U2 Fan instead!

Done.

EM