Da Ali G Show...wow! Finally, some hilarious comedy back on the Canadian airways - this guy - Sacha Baron Cohen - a.k.a. Ali G (amongst other personalities) really takes it to the people - and the best thing is that he's often doing so with such extreme subtlety, its amazing to see just how easy it is to fool people.
He manages to get into some funny situations - as I just witnessed this evening - in a scene where he's hosting a political panel of 4 American politicians - he brings up voting age restrictions and suggests that America change their requirement from being at least 18 years of age to one of the following slogans below:
"If there's fluff on the muff, she's old enough"
or
"If there's grass on the pitch, do the bitch"
Let's vote on it, America! (..um, and you too Canada)
Long reign Ali G!
Done.
EM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
The Wheels on the Bandwagon...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all ages, Habs, Bruins, Rangers, Blackhawks, Red Wings Fans, come forth and listen to these hallowed words:
Nineteen-Sixty-Seven, 1967! For nearly 5 decades now, there is a lost ship at sea, rudderless, oft-times Captain-less, powerless to the thunderous waves of expansion, free agency, strikes, lockouts, shut-downs, shut-ins, Steve Shutts, salary caps, salary ceilings, deep pockets, endless pockets, tight-asses, dumb-asses, ticket-scalpers (both on the street and in the front-offices), ownership changes, deaths and bumblings-on-whole. The Blue, the White, the championship in sight, the playoffs that could, would and should. The planned parades, merely farce and charade, as our iron-willed club, shines their nine-iron clubs, and puts us fans to shame.
Alas, as I mortgage my house to sit in their hangar, I've found that I've mortgaged my soul. I've vowed to the end, to remain the best of friends, with a team whose not up to snuff. At times when they could, they bought the right stuff, but now those days have gone. I say they owe me, instead we've got Domi, at 2.5 mil, he's had his fill so its time that he hang 'em up. So while he's out packin' grab Belak and Aki, take Tucker, take Kilger, shave Wilm n' Alli(son), bye-bye to Eric, to Telli n' Quinn and please oh please don't come back til' you win!
Now, be not afraid, for I haven't sold out - I'm still Blue n' White (on many levels at that), but just not tonite - 'cause I'm sick and I'm tired and its true, that for all that I've said, for the blue that I've bled, I will not, like a fool, give up on these tools, though at times I have asked myself why? For its my belief that the Toronto Maple Leafs will one day arise from the ash, to kick some ass, tear the league up! So, crack open the dom, a toast to Don n' let's sip from Lord Stanley's Cup!
Dear Maple Leaf Management:
FOR FUCK'S SAKE! ENOUGH WITH THE PROFITEERING, WE GET THE POINT. WIN, DAMMIT, WIN! YOU'VE THE MONEY AND THE POWER, NOW'S THE HOUR, CARPE DIEM AND SOON, SO WE CAN SEE 'EM...WIN THE BELOVED CUP!
Thank you.
To my readers - thanks for humouring me on this one...GO LEAFS GO!
Done.
EM.
Nineteen-Sixty-Seven, 1967! For nearly 5 decades now, there is a lost ship at sea, rudderless, oft-times Captain-less, powerless to the thunderous waves of expansion, free agency, strikes, lockouts, shut-downs, shut-ins, Steve Shutts, salary caps, salary ceilings, deep pockets, endless pockets, tight-asses, dumb-asses, ticket-scalpers (both on the street and in the front-offices), ownership changes, deaths and bumblings-on-whole. The Blue, the White, the championship in sight, the playoffs that could, would and should. The planned parades, merely farce and charade, as our iron-willed club, shines their nine-iron clubs, and puts us fans to shame.
Alas, as I mortgage my house to sit in their hangar, I've found that I've mortgaged my soul. I've vowed to the end, to remain the best of friends, with a team whose not up to snuff. At times when they could, they bought the right stuff, but now those days have gone. I say they owe me, instead we've got Domi, at 2.5 mil, he's had his fill so its time that he hang 'em up. So while he's out packin' grab Belak and Aki, take Tucker, take Kilger, shave Wilm n' Alli(son), bye-bye to Eric, to Telli n' Quinn and please oh please don't come back til' you win!
Now, be not afraid, for I haven't sold out - I'm still Blue n' White (on many levels at that), but just not tonite - 'cause I'm sick and I'm tired and its true, that for all that I've said, for the blue that I've bled, I will not, like a fool, give up on these tools, though at times I have asked myself why? For its my belief that the Toronto Maple Leafs will one day arise from the ash, to kick some ass, tear the league up! So, crack open the dom, a toast to Don n' let's sip from Lord Stanley's Cup!
Dear Maple Leaf Management:
FOR FUCK'S SAKE! ENOUGH WITH THE PROFITEERING, WE GET THE POINT. WIN, DAMMIT, WIN! YOU'VE THE MONEY AND THE POWER, NOW'S THE HOUR, CARPE DIEM AND SOON, SO WE CAN SEE 'EM...WIN THE BELOVED CUP!
Thank you.
To my readers - thanks for humouring me on this one...GO LEAFS GO!
Done.
EM.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
For Your Listening Pleasure
While I'm not one to make grandios claims, or to overexaggerate to any degree for that matter - I've got to say that I've discovered a magical musical talent that will rival many an artist for years and years to come.
His name is Teddy Geiger - some of you (all 5 of you actually) who've seen the new TV show - Love Monkey - with that guy from tv's "Ed" and the CIBC commercials - anyhoo, he plays this renegade music promoter who discovers this new talent - played by Geiger.
Anyhoo, for those of you curious to this guy's style (and look) he's definitely going to be thrust into the Dave Matthews/Matthew Good/Goo-Goo Dolls/John Mayer style of music - very kitschy and just chillin' music.
Personally, I enjoy what appears to be his upcoming single - "For You I Will - Confidence" - a strong song. As for looks, he's got that David Usher look (formerly or possibly still a member of Moist).
Anyways, thanks for reading and check out the music - and if you like it, remember, I told you first!
Done.
EM
His name is Teddy Geiger - some of you (all 5 of you actually) who've seen the new TV show - Love Monkey - with that guy from tv's "Ed" and the CIBC commercials - anyhoo, he plays this renegade music promoter who discovers this new talent - played by Geiger.
Anyhoo, for those of you curious to this guy's style (and look) he's definitely going to be thrust into the Dave Matthews/Matthew Good/Goo-Goo Dolls/John Mayer style of music - very kitschy and just chillin' music.
Personally, I enjoy what appears to be his upcoming single - "For You I Will - Confidence" - a strong song. As for looks, he's got that David Usher look (formerly or possibly still a member of Moist).
Anyways, thanks for reading and check out the music - and if you like it, remember, I told you first!
Done.
EM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Random Website Of The Month
Good News!
The Random Website of the Month has been updated! Better late than never!
Enjoy.
Done.
EM
P.S. Levs...I saw your muse tonight, gave her your number so she should call you, but...um, she was fat dude, like orca fat. Good luck with that though!
Peace.
The Random Website of the Month has been updated! Better late than never!
Enjoy.
Done.
EM
P.S. Levs...I saw your muse tonight, gave her your number so she should call you, but...um, she was fat dude, like orca fat. Good luck with that though!
Peace.
What Grinds My Gears (TM)
Firstly, thanks to Peter Griffin for the inspiring use of a famous line he uttered...please don't sue me!
More importantly: I've got to unload here a slight (if there's such a thing from me) rant...
Crosswalking. Crosswalkers. Webster's Dictionary ought to define crosswalking as "the inability to walk in a single given direction, within a straight line, subsequently causing those who are indeed capable of walking a straight line, behind you, to be prematurely cut-off and in oft cases, a scuffing of footwear or an outright stumble occurs". A Crosswalker is then, by default, and individual so annoying as to commit the aforementioned action.
I hate these people. Someone did that to me today - it really "grinds my gears". Why, lord, why, can't these people just walk straight - I could understand if they were so preoccupied with reading a book/magazine etc. or realizing that they've missed their desired turning point or destination - so they cut you off, but...to randomly be walking a seemingly straight pattern/direction and to just veer off into your way...for fuck's sake!!
Now, I know one might attempt to rationalize this a simple loss of balance or equilibrium - but nay I say. It is not. For the fact remains that these people are still walking in a forwardly fashion, with nary a stumble or misstep at all.
I think there should be a new rule - slap 'em upside the head, or better yet, trip them. If these idiots can't even walk straight, do we really want them around society's other dangers - driving motor vehicles? conducting trains? flying airplanes? doing our taxes? teaching our children how to earn their "Turtle" badges? I mean, this can't be allowed to happen!
Now maybe I'm a little over-sensitive here, but I seriously can't stand when people do that. Let's get our shit together here, people! Walk the line (thanks Johnny) or watch out!
Done.
EM
More importantly: I've got to unload here a slight (if there's such a thing from me) rant...
Crosswalking. Crosswalkers. Webster's Dictionary ought to define crosswalking as "the inability to walk in a single given direction, within a straight line, subsequently causing those who are indeed capable of walking a straight line, behind you, to be prematurely cut-off and in oft cases, a scuffing of footwear or an outright stumble occurs". A Crosswalker is then, by default, and individual so annoying as to commit the aforementioned action.
I hate these people. Someone did that to me today - it really "grinds my gears". Why, lord, why, can't these people just walk straight - I could understand if they were so preoccupied with reading a book/magazine etc. or realizing that they've missed their desired turning point or destination - so they cut you off, but...to randomly be walking a seemingly straight pattern/direction and to just veer off into your way...for fuck's sake!!
Now, I know one might attempt to rationalize this a simple loss of balance or equilibrium - but nay I say. It is not. For the fact remains that these people are still walking in a forwardly fashion, with nary a stumble or misstep at all.
I think there should be a new rule - slap 'em upside the head, or better yet, trip them. If these idiots can't even walk straight, do we really want them around society's other dangers - driving motor vehicles? conducting trains? flying airplanes? doing our taxes? teaching our children how to earn their "Turtle" badges? I mean, this can't be allowed to happen!
Now maybe I'm a little over-sensitive here, but I seriously can't stand when people do that. Let's get our shit together here, people! Walk the line (thanks Johnny) or watch out!
Done.
EM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
In lieu of a proper title
A new edition to the blog:
Letters I'd wish I'd written - on occasion I will post anonymous letters that I wish I'd have written, or had the courage to write. While they won't necessarily all make sense as to whom they're from (in fact they're anonymous), I'm hopefull that you'll enjoy their content and hopefully their context. Your feedback on this edition is appreciated.
LETTER # 1:
24th of May, 1947
Dear Maggie,
Your visit this afternoon was greatly appreciated. The rhubarb pie was phenomenal as always. I must say that I was saddened to hear about your boy, Herman. Such a pity, really - those two were always getting into it, weren't they? I just know that my Winston would never stand for such a thing - to think that they were going to be business partners!
I must confess to you that one night, back in March, I caught the two of them fondling the cow so to speak, and I just about lost my senses. Heaven knows that, had they tried that with me, I'd have shown them the door.
You know I'm not one to gossip, but the rumour about town is that you must be in tears after what Herman did. To think he had the nerve to just go out like that and embarass himself to that degree, I'll never understand!
In any case my dear, next time you come over, you have simply got to bring me some of that delicious raspberry tart you make!
Best Wishes!
(name withheld for legal purposes)
-Kansas City, Kansas
Letters I'd wish I'd written - on occasion I will post anonymous letters that I wish I'd have written, or had the courage to write. While they won't necessarily all make sense as to whom they're from (in fact they're anonymous), I'm hopefull that you'll enjoy their content and hopefully their context. Your feedback on this edition is appreciated.
LETTER # 1:
24th of May, 1947
Dear Maggie,
Your visit this afternoon was greatly appreciated. The rhubarb pie was phenomenal as always. I must say that I was saddened to hear about your boy, Herman. Such a pity, really - those two were always getting into it, weren't they? I just know that my Winston would never stand for such a thing - to think that they were going to be business partners!
I must confess to you that one night, back in March, I caught the two of them fondling the cow so to speak, and I just about lost my senses. Heaven knows that, had they tried that with me, I'd have shown them the door.
You know I'm not one to gossip, but the rumour about town is that you must be in tears after what Herman did. To think he had the nerve to just go out like that and embarass himself to that degree, I'll never understand!
In any case my dear, next time you come over, you have simply got to bring me some of that delicious raspberry tart you make!
Best Wishes!
(name withheld for legal purposes)
-Kansas City, Kansas
A tiskit, a tasket - what the fuck's in your basket?
Consider this the blog to end all blogs! No musings of muses, no mention of men. The fight I fight is for fighting's right to be the best I am. A rhythm of rhyme with no rhyme or reason, an act of love or an act of treason, no matter which way you slice my bread, I too shall act until I am dead.
There's much to make of a maker's make, to meet your maker though, a grand mistake, for to take one's life one must reveal the secret of Caramilk and all that's concealed, that last little line had no point at all, but to point out one's faults is inconsiderate.
When I said I'm gonna ramble and rave, t'was no illusion that I gave that I'm gonna say what's on my mind and if you don't mind I'll act in kind, and allow you a chance to post your views, so long as you don't mention that stupid muse!
Just thought I'd do something different.
Done.
EM
There's much to make of a maker's make, to meet your maker though, a grand mistake, for to take one's life one must reveal the secret of Caramilk and all that's concealed, that last little line had no point at all, but to point out one's faults is inconsiderate.
When I said I'm gonna ramble and rave, t'was no illusion that I gave that I'm gonna say what's on my mind and if you don't mind I'll act in kind, and allow you a chance to post your views, so long as you don't mention that stupid muse!
Just thought I'd do something different.
Done.
EM
Monday, March 13, 2006
Hey, McFly!
2:55am - Back To The Future (Part I) is on TBS - and even though I own the Trilogy on box-set DVD, its an irresistable urge to watch - y'know, that good 'ol Marty McFly, the DeLorean, Doc Brown...Hill Valley, it's all good... "roads, where we're goin' we don't NEED, roads..." beautiful stuff... and then I ask myself, "hey, why's he not swearing where there's swearing?" which brings me to the issue at hand... t.v. censorship.
Now, maybe I've blogged about this before - those of you who are keeping track let me know, those of you who aren't - what good are you?!
But here's what I've noticed thus far in my 26.5 years on this planet - channels on tv, such as TBS or CITY-TV - they air good, indeed, great movies (CITY-TV even goes so far to call one their segments - "Great Movies on CITY-TV" - so, y'know, they've gotta be great) yet there are many a time on either channel where a random censory edit has been performed - and all I'm saying is WHY??
Why bother airing something if it doesn't meet the broadcast decency standards or whatever...I mean either change the rules or don't bother showing that stuff on TV, 'cause quite frankly, no matter how many times you try, no one is ever going to enjoy or get used to John Maclean saying "yippee kiyay mother hugger" it's MUTHERFUCKER...... say FUCK. don't say hug, slug, loser, josher etc...say the word its meant to be or don't say it at all...and I can't even figure out what's worse - editing the words or just mildly bleeping over them, or even better is when you know he's saying fuck and they're trying to convice you he's said and always said "fudge" - puhleese...
But maybe it's just me!
Mutherfudger!
Done.
EM
Now, maybe I've blogged about this before - those of you who are keeping track let me know, those of you who aren't - what good are you?!
But here's what I've noticed thus far in my 26.5 years on this planet - channels on tv, such as TBS or CITY-TV - they air good, indeed, great movies (CITY-TV even goes so far to call one their segments - "Great Movies on CITY-TV" - so, y'know, they've gotta be great) yet there are many a time on either channel where a random censory edit has been performed - and all I'm saying is WHY??
Why bother airing something if it doesn't meet the broadcast decency standards or whatever...I mean either change the rules or don't bother showing that stuff on TV, 'cause quite frankly, no matter how many times you try, no one is ever going to enjoy or get used to John Maclean saying "yippee kiyay mother hugger" it's MUTHERFUCKER...... say FUCK. don't say hug, slug, loser, josher etc...say the word its meant to be or don't say it at all...and I can't even figure out what's worse - editing the words or just mildly bleeping over them, or even better is when you know he's saying fuck and they're trying to convice you he's said and always said "fudge" - puhleese...
But maybe it's just me!
Mutherfudger!
Done.
EM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Spring Break
'Tis the season to be half-naked on the beaches of Daytona, Miami or Acapulco!!
And yet, I find myself here in the hauntingly hallowed houses of Thornhill in March - yay for me. Now, I wouldn't say I'm the jealous type, more like the "ooh, I wish I could have/do/buy that" type...and though I am so fortunate to be surrounded by my family, friends and all-around loved ones, what I wouldn't give to be strolling down the beaches of some sand-dune oasis in the Carribbean!
They say Spring is such a lovely time of year - the birds are singing, flowers are starting to bloom, the snow and ice is melting, Love is in the air - and something else too... what's that I smell? Why, I think it's, yes....it's shit!
Spring smells like shit. Seriously now, think about it - go outside, step past the threshholds of your homes, fill your lungs with that sweet, sweet air and stop to realize - it's shit!
Dogs crapping all over the place, the musky smell of dead flora beneath the melting snow and ice - an all around great sensation!
Give me the beaches of Miami any day!
Done.
EM
And yet, I find myself here in the hauntingly hallowed houses of Thornhill in March - yay for me. Now, I wouldn't say I'm the jealous type, more like the "ooh, I wish I could have/do/buy that" type...and though I am so fortunate to be surrounded by my family, friends and all-around loved ones, what I wouldn't give to be strolling down the beaches of some sand-dune oasis in the Carribbean!
They say Spring is such a lovely time of year - the birds are singing, flowers are starting to bloom, the snow and ice is melting, Love is in the air - and something else too...
Spring smells like shit. Seriously now, think about it - go outside, step past the threshholds of your homes, fill your lungs with that sweet, sweet air and stop to realize - it's shit!
Dogs crapping all over the place, the musky smell of dead flora beneath the melting snow and ice - an all around great sensation!
Give me the beaches of Miami any day!
Done.
EM
Friday, March 10, 2006
D'oh!
Um, I forgot to mention... there's a link to donate money on the last blog - its at the end of the lil' reminder I did...so just go back on the last link (entitled "With A Little Help From My Friends") and um, ya do it!
sweet. thanks.
Done.
EM
sweet. thanks.
Done.
EM
A Little Help From My Friends
Hey All,
Sorry I haven't been online in a bit - just haven't - no other excuse really. OK so a quick favour to ask of you my friends and readers alike...
Jodi's raising some money for the MS Society to help find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis - specifically she's looking for donations - any amount is beneficial - $1.00 - $1,000,000.00 - whatever you wanna part ways with (plus for those of you who are so concerned, its tax deductible and the MS Society gives you a receipt!!)
Anyways, she's looking to raise $500 - now I say y'all help her out and try n' double it... $1000!!!! So far I've done my share, and well, hopefully you guys can help do yours too!
And, if you don't feel like or are unable to contribute financially then perhaps you can spread the word and let all your friends and loved ones know about this mission!
Many thanks.
Senor Jetboy.
Done.
EM
https://msors.mssociety.ca/WALK2006/Sponsor.aspx?L=2&PID=808911
Sorry I haven't been online in a bit - just haven't - no other excuse really. OK so a quick favour to ask of you my friends and readers alike...
Jodi's raising some money for the MS Society to help find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis - specifically she's looking for donations - any amount is beneficial - $1.00 - $1,000,000.00 - whatever you wanna part ways with (plus for those of you who are so concerned, its tax deductible and the MS Society gives you a receipt!!)
Anyways, she's looking to raise $500 - now I say y'all help her out and try n' double it... $1000!!!! So far I've done my share, and well, hopefully you guys can help do yours too!
And, if you don't feel like or are unable to contribute financially then perhaps you can spread the word and let all your friends and loved ones know about this mission!
Many thanks.
Senor Jetboy.
Done.
EM
https://msors.mssociety.ca/WALK2006/Sponsor.aspx?L=2&PID=808911
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