The Doctor Will See You Now....

Chutzpah. Moxie. Nerve. Balls...

You name it, I've got it - kinda. So what the heck am I talkin' about??

Here's a lil' story of my day today...

Sitting in the doctor's office waiting room, in walks an attractive and I mean ATTRACTIVE (yeah, I know we all have different tastes n' what not but she was WOW...) anyways, this lovely girl sits down...Tall, Leggy Blonde, dressed to kill...

she sits across from me in the waiting room and dives into her magazine...as she's thumbing through it, I can't help but look at her, and I catch myself staring...so I glance quickly up at the Advertising TV with no volume on, and pretend like I don't even notice her (who am I kidding).

So there I am, sitting and waiting and staring and not staring...finally, as I've wrestled with my mind whether or not I should get up and say something...I make my move... I get up, walk over to her, notice some magazines on the chair beside her...

"Excuse me, just need to get to those..." pointing at the magazines, she tucks her leg in and barely lifts her head out of her Elle or Vogue or whatever.... "Which one should I read??" I ask her, holding up a copy of Entertainment Weekly and Flare Magazine (I know which one its gonna be, d'uh....EW, but...this is how things get done - M, pay attention...)

She looks up at me, checks out the literature in question, and remarks "well, not the Flare, I don't think you're gonna want to read that" - to whit, I remark "well, it does discuss the top 10 things you can do when you're....whatever I'm not into the magazine...."

I sit down, and immediately I say: "Listen, I honestly didn't come over here to read a magazine, but I had to come over and say hi and talk to you, b/c I told myself if I didn't, I'd regret it and so here I am, attempting to 'pick you up' in a doctor's office..."

"Aww, that's sweet, thanks" she replies. "I'm Ellie and you are....?" - "______" she says (I'm not mentioning names in case she reads this, who reads this anyways??). "Nice to meet you...so _________, may I ask you, are you single?"

Smiling, very much taken aback I can tell, she says, "Actually...yes, I am". Ditto. Ok, let's keep this going I think....


"So what do you do?" - She answers "Advertising" - she certainly looked the part. "And you, what do you do" she asks... "I'm a teacher actually - freshly minted"..."Oh, what do you teach?" - High School I tell her....

Awkward Silence. "I guess this is the part where we go back to our reading and not really talk huh"....She looks at me, unsure of what to say.... "So do you live around here" - Yes, I do comes her reply, and yourself, she asks?

I do...not far....So how old are you, I ask her?

She answers, 24....I don't believe it, I say "wow, I'd have figured you more for 26" - and then....the nurse moves in on the conversation....

"_____________??", "______________!!" - she calls out our Beauty's name, and with that a quick handshake and a "nice to have met you" your mystery woman disappears with a light chuckle and a casual sauntering off...

I sit there and pat myself on the back...I think my breathing is only starting to catch up to me.... Did I just do that? Did I just randomly chat up a girl in a doctor's office??

As I'm waiting for my patient to come back from their visit, I realize - "man, I should've gotten her number or given her mine...IDIOT!!!"

So...an added dose of adrenalin must've kicked in, b/c next thing I know I'm asking the receptionist if she's willing to help a brother out...

"'Scuse me, there's this GORGEOUS Blonde girl back there, and I'm wondering if you'd be willing to give her a note for me when she comes out...."


"SURE!!" Sandra the Nurse/Receptionist/Hero tells me....

I write out a lil' "cute" note about how I'd like to pick this up where it left off...take a chance etc.... and I lay out my email and cell #.

I give it to Sandra the Nurse/Receptionist/Hero and say "Tall, Gorgeous Blonde, you can't miss her" Please n' Thanks!

The rest.....is in G-d's hands now.


Timing....see the previous post.....At least I got up there, no?

Timing...Or Lack Thereof...

Swiss Movement. Japanse Precision. American Standard. Greenwich Mean. Lunch.

All of the above randomness describes or stands for something that we all come to know and appreciate, and on occasion feel we don't have enough of...TIME.

For me lately, it appears as though I have time. Time to kill, time to spare, time to sleep in, time to eat, time to loiter....what I also seem to have is Shit Timing.

Shit Timing, is a very scientific factoid that people often fail to examine. In my particular situation, my "shit timing" is in reference to the perils of romance and relationships.

Finding myself single in the city, I've climbed back onto the proverbial saddle and am wrestling with the world of dating. Thus far, I've encountered a few sexy souls worthy of my satire, soul and charm (I think) - ok, I was going for the alliteration there - anyhow, I'm putting myself out there, only to discover that I'm not really available.

How's this possible? Allow me to explain...

For a few months I attempted to do the online dating thing, the bar pickups, the friend hookups - some with more success than others. Then, like a bad run at poker, I started getting "cold cards" - the ladies, the well of beauties had dried up - gone. Dismayed, I decided that I need a change of scenery and pace - so I chose to run away this summer to Camp - yes the magical land of hookups and regrets - followed up with a run across the ocean to the UK - London Town! Figured I'd see what adventures await me in Europe (ladies included).

Lo and behold as time creeps closer to my departure, it seems as though the ladies are just jumping out at me (not on me as one might like, but...they're around) - and of course once things start to develop chemically (in a "romantic" sense people...), there comes the inevitable..."so what are you doing this summer?" - to which my reply is..."oohh, heading out of town as of the 22nd...." and....it ends abruptly.

This is annoying. This is really annoying. Why, why is it that when I decide and decree no more, there comes more?!?

Is it as one friend suggested, the notion or idea that I'm "unavailable" that makes me "available" or attractive (more so than usual)??

All's I know is, camp better be awesome....and hopefully the notion/thought/movie-inspired idea of Serendipity has something to be said for itself...

Go figure...gotta run!

Ran out of time....for now.


Done.
Peace.


EM

Yes, that's me and yes, that's Jack Layton. Yes, that's a beer in his hand (and a ONE bracelet on his wrist). Yes, I'm 28 officially in that photo. Yes, I'm a semi-Conservative/semi-Liberal/fence-sitting Canadian/pro-Zionist/pro-Israel Canadian, and NO I'm not a member (nor applying for membership) of the NDP Party. It's Saturday night, and for whatever reason, the Divine power(s) that be determined that I was to have a party at Grace O'Malley's (Yes, ugh, its a Sens Bar) and that Mr. Jack was to be there...partying it up.

Now, I will say this much, despite politics and party lines, Jack's a fun guy. You wouldn't catch Stephen (Steeeeve, as Dubyah'd say) Harper or Stephane Dion or Paul Martin at a pub - maybe Duceppe, but it'd have to be a Quebec barre...anyhow, there was Jack at the bar - yes, he was in a suit, but in his defense, he is a Party Leader...maybe he could've loosened the tie a tad, or dropped the jacket, but...it was funny.

I want to thank all of you deviants who showed up at the soiree and tried to get me to puke (success....) and well, here's the thing about that...

I've drunk far more liquor and beer in my lifetime than on Saturday night, and NEVER yaked...so what gives? I suspect it was the post-operative warning of lasik surgery...do not consume alcohol for the first 4 days, which explains a lot...or maybe it was the pizza and nachos pre-drink? Though tasty, they were consumed in a haste...or might it be Marty the Mixer...Mart-o's been known to be rather Liberal/liberal (politic pun) in his drinking ratios... in any event, I did, mildly regurgitate and after a quick chasing of ginger ale and some H2O, its all good...I got back onto the horse and did a few more Tequila shots...and Bob's yer uncle...

Twas fun...Twas good...Twas what it should

Cheers to all...

Less than 2 weeks til' the Summer begins for me...I'll try and post some stuff b/w now and the 22nd...

Done.
Peace.

EM