A splendid time is guaranteed for all...

Ok...so...let's recap. Martin Levy turned 28. He had a party. I went. There was a camera...and girls...and girls in bikinis...and alcoholic beverages...and good friends...and girls...in bikinis... IN JANUARY.

If a picture is indeed worth a 1000 words...then holy crap I've got enough for a Doctoral Thesis!!

Enjoy the photos.

Marty - thanks for a great night - much needed, sorely appreciated...and to the ladies...both in and not in bikinis...THANK YOU TOO!!!

Cheers,

Peace.

Done.

EM

Are you being duplicitous?

Liar, Liar...pants on fire....

Surely you remember that lil' bit of teasing when you were a child, who knows, perhaps you too were guilty of singing that song off key while laughing and pointing at the lil' bugger in their OshKoshB'Gosh overalls (oh man - those bring back memories...)!

So here's what gets me (as of late) - alternate MSN accounts!

What, pray tell am I speaking of, you ask?? Well, I think this applies more for the ladies than it does to the men but check this out:

As we enter the 21st century, it is clear that dating and all its "rules" and "guidelines" from centuries past are being altered, if not forgotten by the wayside, more and more each day it seems; now this isn't always a bad thing, I for one think we're doing much better than the days of Ogg- The Caveman (I hope those Neanderthal dudes from the life insurance company don't come a knockin'!!), beat his love interest over the head with a half-living animal and dragged her by the hair into his cave for some "casual conversation" (wink, wink). Arranged marriages and/or blind dates are still in the fashion for some cultures, picking up at bars/clubs/grinding up against a lovely lass with her maiden friends is still the rage for some (not me), and of course how can we leave out computer dating?

Now, I don't quite know what to make of computer dating - I've done it (successfully?) and well, I guess some people are still insecure about the technology (which is logical, after all I am a rich 29-year old doctor from California, driving a Benz SLK and making over $250K per annum, oh, and I adopt little Malawian children and send them photos of my mansion - telling them one day, one fine day, they too can have one of their own...oh Madonna!!). So where's this going??? Patience...here's what gets me...

Seems as though the in-thing to do with regard to this phenomena (whether you're a JDater - c'mon we all are, aren't we? aren't we?!?, Lavalife or whatever...) especially as far as women are concerned - is to create an alternate hotmail or email account along with perhaps an alternate instant chat service account too (e.g. MSN).

So, I've met a girl or two online in my time, and wouldn't ya know it - we hit things off...great. Hey, she says, Let's chat on MSN - here's my account - spankmehard@hotmail.... or bunniesaresocutedontchathink@gmail.... WHATEVER... the point is, as a guy, I say Ok!! So in exchange I give them my legitimate and sole account for same purposes...only to find out after a while (especially if its a hit...) Oh, by the way, why don't you add me to this account - msmith@__________ - its my REAL account, I don't really use the other one...

WHAT?!? Here's my question...women, in general don't appreciate being lied to, correct ladies? So you go online and you say that you're "medium/average" height (translation - you're barely 5"1 WITH heels) and that you're "average" weight - so you've got a couple extra lbs. - who doesn't?? and that you're an "open-minded" girl - translation - its YOUR WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!

OK, OK, I can deal with that - afterall I'm no doctor...but you go online in hopes of finding that "true someone" (at least 99% of you) that you want to spend your life with and the first thing you do (granted I understand all about "stalkers" etc) - you give us a fake email.

IN OTHER WORDS.... YOU LIE TO US!! Now, I ask you, how's that supposed to make me feel? Now, I swear this isn't addressed to anyone in particular, however if you're feeling a tad hot under the collar - that's b/c you're guilty of manipulation, duplicitous behaviour and, well...you're a woman.

I guess us good guys can't ever really get a fair shake, huh? I just find it somewhat interesting (read - frustrating) that more and more of you ladies are doing it - and what gets me the most, is that if a guy were to pull this one off, you'd drop him in a second - Oh he's a lying, cheating bastard - he probably doesn't even call his mother or he for sure kicks homeless people in the street when they're sleeping....

I for one, dear ladies, love you all. You are a phenomenal species, a true mystery of the world - I'm a flirt...have been, always will be - but c'mon....let's cut the bullshit and games huh? You want a MAN in your life - THEN BE A WOMAN!! Own up to the fact that you too have come to the realization that you're going to meet Mr. Right online - and give up the real address...this shit isn't any better than the fake phone number scheme (its always a Cab company or Nail Salon you don't go to anymore!!) - time to grow up ladies...Mr. RightForYou* is waiting....










*Disclaimer - Mr. RightForYou, doesn't necessarily mean I'm talking about myself, but y'know I know a few dudes in this precarious position themselves...so its more of a generalization than a shady allusion to myself.




P.S. - if you wanna chat with me - here's my MSN - onerichmofo@hotmail.com!!


DONE.
PEACE.

EM

Bring on Beckham!!

C'mon ride the train...

There's been a lot on my mind lately, and I'm still sorting out the right words to express some or all of what I want to say. I realize that my blogging has been sporadic at best, and well, I guess that's what its got to be for now. Granted I'm not nearly as prolific a writer as some of my fellow bloggers, nor am I that bad either that I can't even put up a decent post every once and then, right??

Any event, before I completely lose you on this one, I have to tell a story. Those of you who know me, know that I like to tell stories - Ellie's always got a story - more often than not its a long, winded version that could've easily been summed up in eight words or less...but what's the fun in that?

A story needs to be told, with expression, passion, devotion, imagination, details, an occasional elaboration of truth (read as a "stretching" of details) and lest we forget - a smile.

Here's my story, as brief as it is, and irrelevant as to the aforementioned details above...

This past Monday around 5:30 I find myself on the crowded, cramped, exhausting ride on the TTC subway heading up north to the Hill... Having had to stand a fair bit of the way (I'm going to hate being kept in class until precisely 5pm Mondays) - I finally get to sit down at the York Mills station (coming up from Bloor). I grab a seat next to a lovely, snoring, somewhat smelly lady and out of nowhere, a rather attractive brunette, well tailored etc sits down in front of me. As I gaze at her profile, I find myself thinking "hey, this girl's really cute....I wonder if she's Jewish..I think she is...hmm, got the 'nose' down..but, that could be just a Semitic trait (read "Arabic")...." - y'know how I am about the Jewish ladies...

Anyhoo, yeah that's right I said anyhoo (twice), I'm sitting there and I notice she's picking at her fingers, ripping the skin around the nail-area - granted this is a disgusting and "improper" set of behaviour for a woman (or man), but as a fellow nail-biter/ripper, I couldn't help but laugh (inside). I'm sitting there watching her have a good go at it - and I glanced down at my relatively deformed digits, thinking that at least she won't find my hands "nasty" per se.

Then, out of nowhere, I hear my mother's voice in my head "stop ripping!!!" - my heart began racing a bit faster (I think it's b/c of the gathering nerve of actually talking to a stranger on the TTC)...and before I know it my mouth has decided that its time for some "conversation"...I'm actually going to attempt to pick this chick up (ya, I said chick)!!

So what clever bit of conversation do I start with?? "That's a bad habit" I say to this startled cutie (and if you're reading this _______ I'm leaving your name out of it :O) ) - she nervously and rather shockingly stops her picking and hides her hands by her side...I smile at her and say "that's ok, I do it too..." and show her my masochistic artwork...

She smiles and says "I think I've got you covered though" - we begin talking, two complete strangers, kind of like in the movies, only in the back of my mind a few pressing questions need to be answered...and here we are at North York stop with only one to go...Quick, get a name...Check! Dude, is she Jewish...drop the subtle language hints (schmuck, oy, schlep..etc...) try "Jewish Geography" - how the hell did we end up talking about other Yids in the City??

And, then...the sad reality sets in...the dreaded words a guy doesn't particularly want to hear when he's "picking up"..... MY BOYFRIEND... shit - game over!! OK, don't show her your disappointment...keep talkin' "hmm yeah, that's nice, uhuh...yep, yep..." the words are just skimming by my ears, in one, out the other...how long is it 'til I get to the car... wait, we're walking in the same direction - ok keep it going, maybe they're on the verge of breaking up???

Nope...no breaking up...nice job though back there, flattering her (accidental as it was) with the guessing of the age (she really did look 24 - who knew she's 29...) oh well...it was for naught.

Ne'er fear though at least you talked to her, right? Right! No phone number or anything like that, a smile here and a smile there...a genuine handshake goodbye and...well, that was Monday.

I guess that's a step though, right?

Anyways, that's the "story" - more for my amusement than yours...all I can say is that once in a while riding the TTC can indeed be the "better way".

PEACE
Done.

EM

So True (except maybe the Barbara Streisand part)!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xq1e2_christmas-time-for-the-jews