All Because of You (This one's for Corinne)!

So, lemme paint y'all a lil' pictcha as they say in these parts...

As sayeth Sandler: "Hanukah is the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents we get 8 crazy nights"....well kids, this was one of the crazy nights for sure...

I'm walking down the street randomly minding everyone else's business and I see this guys wearing a kippa (yarmulka for you non-Jews, yeah, the beenie lookin' thing we Jews wear on the head - males only) - anyhow, I spot the MOT and notice he's holding a bag of bagels - all excited at the prospect of seeing a "good bagel", for they don't really have them here - the ones they do carry in the UK are plastic-waxy lookin' muthafuckahs and no self-respecting-bagel-eating-Jew in the world, would dare put his lips to such a wretched excuse for a stereotypical national food!

Soooo, I figure the yid knows where to get a good bagel - so I walk up to him, and here's what went down:

Ellie: Excuse me sir,do you mind if I ask you where you found those bagels?

Random dude: Oh, actually they're not bagels, they're challah rolls, but you can get them from this bakery down the street on the LH side - just a few minutes walk down from here...hey, are you 'one of us'?

Ellie: (laughing) - yeah,I'm one of us!! My name is Ellie, nice to meet you, its just that I got so excited at the prospect of seeing a good bagel, y'know how it is..

Random dude: haha, yeah I understand, hey my name is Dan, nice to meet you! Listen you should come over for shabbat dinner, seriously, anytime, what's your number give it to me and I'll call you and invite you for a shabbat dinner...

Ellie: ya sure, that's very nice of you, I actually have plans tonight however...

Dan: no, well, not tonight obviously but y'know any other time is great you're more than welcome that's how it is with us y'know...

Ellie: for sure, well here's the number do be in touch and I'll certainly call you up and take you up on the offer...

We part ways, shaking hands, new Jewish mates just made, and not 30 minutes go by when my phone rings:

Dan: Ellie? Hi, its Daniel the bagel guy...

Ellie: yes, yes of course, (confused) what's up?

Dan: listen, I totally forgot, but I'm having a Chanukah party on Sunday, you must attend, there's going to be a lot of cool people there, it'll be a nice scene, you can light menorah and all in all have a good time...see you Sunday at the address (he gives it to me, and lo and behold its literally, around the corner from me)...7pm!

So, I agree to go, all excited for a party, to meet new people I'm getting dressed as its nearly 7 (actually, slightly past 7 y'all know me...never on time these days) - and my phone rings - its Corinne Mazin!!

She and I have been in touch for a while, as she's traversing Europe - the offer was made for her to come see me anytime - and I was indeed expecting her - only 2 days earlier - never got the call from my hippie lovebird friend, so I figured she's passed me over...well wouldn't ya know it she's in town for like 6 hours, let's hang!!

I agree, but what about the party? I figure I'll make an appearance, find my cue to leave n' voila...so I head over with my bottle of white (momma didn't raise no inhospitable house guest - and no, I didn't take it with me on the way home...subtle reference for those people who know what I'm talkin' about...hahaha, to those who don't...ask someone who knows!), eat some sufganiyot (home-made sugar/jelly doughnut...mmmmm) have a lil' nosh n' I'm outtie...

Here's where this long ass story gets crazier (at least from my point of view)...

I'm riding the tube down to meet Ms. Mazin - its a good 40 minute journey, I'm on the 1st of 2 trains (the longer bit), and a few stops in these two girls get on the car...they sit across from me, as I'm listening to my IPhone-IPod - I check 'em out...cute, one's taller than the other - Jewdar...working....scrambled signal (given the background noise and rash of excitement on the tube) - I think....could it be....one of them (the taller one) is a fellow yid...and...do I detect a hint of non-UK accent???

I sneakily pause the music on the earbuds (gotta love iphone) and feign boredom as I listen in on the conversation they're having...turns out not only am I right about their religious/cultural identity, but the tall one's indeed from N.America... I go back to my music (they're talking about the other one's boyfriend...so naturally I tune out).

Then...I sense drama, so I pause again (ever the curious mofo I am), and listen in...lo and behold the tall one's single...talking about how she just hasn't met the "right guy"... fellas...the lights are flashing in my mind...and the heartbeat's pickin' up a few beats...

I take off the ear buds, put 'em away (there's plenty of train time for 'em anyways), and just casually sit n' listen while not listening...y'know how it is...

Then - JACKPOT - confirmation is made - they're talking about my good friend of a website - JDate. Now, its no secret that I'm a member and that it has/hasn't worked for me in the past...anyhow, cutie's talkin' about how she's not on it, and that while she recognizes that its becoming increasingly socially acceptable to meet someone online, she's just kinda hesitant b/c she wants to have a "cool story" and not have to make one up about how she met someone...y'know the standard protocol for Jews who've met on JDate is to not acutally admit they met on JDate - rather they have to "create" a situation - oh I met through a friend, we were at a club...etc...and this turns out to be a half-truth b/c given the small and ridiculously close nature of the Jewish community - we'll probably know each other's friends anyhow, or have gone to the same club/pub whatever in our lifetimes...

So...back to the tale - I start smiling like a baffoon, just can't help myself, I TOTALLY know what this girl's talking about, and there I sit, with each passing tube stop rolling along thinking..."do I talk to her??" "C'mon man...talk to her, say something, this is opporunity knocking...OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!!"

ELLIE: excuse me, sorry, I don't mean to listen in on your conversation, but I couldn't help but notice you two were talking about JDate...

CUTIE'S FRIEND: huh, yeah we're at this tube stop, next one's....oh sorry what did you say??

ELLIE: I said, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation, I completely know what you mean about JDate, I'm on it myself and its been interesting... I turn to Cutie and add "You want a cool story right? Well, here's your story...My name is Ellie, what's yours???" I hold out my hand for the standard handshake on a tube greeting....

CUTIE: (semi-blushing, reaching out her hand) - Name's Lauren - nice to meet you too...

ELLIE: (to Lauren) - a pleasure indeed, (to her friend) - and you? What's your name?

FRIEND: Michelle!

Suddenly, Lauren gets up "this is my stop" she says to Michelle - So I'm sitting there, semi-stunned, semi-frozen from fear...

ELLIE: Seriously, you're leaving? Now?? How do I get to know you better and continue this story??

LAUREN: (blushing and smiling, turns towards her friend Michelle) -well, you have a clue right there!!

Lauren leaves the train at "Angel" tube stop - I shit you not.

I get up, sit next to Michelle and find out about Lauren...now, in the event that this goes any further I'll hold the specifics of the conversation...minus a few details...

ONE: I got complimented by Michelle on "my style" for actually being brave enough to talk to someone randomly like that...ps my heart was racing from excitement, much like it is now as I recount this event...

TWO: No word of a lie - Lauren's from TO. She's studying in London...now, how random is that, may I ask you?? seriously???

So, as my train stop was approaching, I gave Michelle my number, to give to Lauren, and in general for them to call me and hang out - should love not shine her mysterious light on this situation, hopefully we can still hang out and make some kind of connection and complete the hilariously ironic story at hand...

And all of this, was because of you, Corinne Mazin.

Enjoy Slovakia baby!!

PEACE
DONE


Awaiting a phone call....


Ellie