OK, seriously now - I'd been out all day wasting my hours at the local court house, attempting to fight the fact that my driver's license was arbitrarily suspended without notice (supposedly I didn't pay a traffic ticket fine (3 to be exact) and they decided to notify me BY MAIL that my license was suspended) - anyhoo...while I'm out fighting for justice (I won) the beloved hockey team in our local 'burg, the RICHEST TEAM IN THE NHL, THE FORBES-RANKED NUMBER 1 NORTH AMERICAN HOCKEY TEAM IN TERMS OF REVENUE GENERATION, THE "WE-HAVEN'T-WON-A-STANLEY-CUP-IN-FORTY-YEARS-BUT-IT'S-OK-BECAUSE-OUR-BEER-IS-ONLY-$13.00-HOCKEY TEAM, THE REBUILDING, THE RE-BUDDING, THE ENVIABLE, THE DESIRABLE, THE DESPERATE, THE BELOVED TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS.... they're GIVING AWAY FREE TICKETS TO A HOCKEY GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop the presses!! Nay, fire 'em up!!! Them sunombitches done gone ca-raaayyyyy-zeeeeee!!!!
Here's the part that's really interesting - the Leafs claim they're doing this so that they can get a newer, fresher, louder crowd than average - a la Toronto FC dynamic happening over at BMO Field down the road - so, where's the interesting bit??
THE GENIUSES AT MLSE ARE OFFERING THEIR SEASON-SEAT HOLDERS, THE NOT-SO-LOUD-NOT-SO-NEW-NOT-SO-FRESH-NOT -SO-AVERAGE-VERY CURRENT CROWD...THESE DOUCHES (present Douches whom I know and have actually taken me to see a Leafs game on their own account, excluded of course and by "Douches" I just mean you, my beloved and loyal friend(s)) THEY GET FIRST CRACK AT THE FREE TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, um...just who?? WHOOO?????? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE HECK ELSE IS THERE TO QUALIFY FOR FREEBIES??? AND ITS PRE-SEASON AT THAT DONTCHA KNOW!!!!!
Coca-Cola to the rescue!!! The big bad boys at Coke are "sponsoring" the game - so MLSE still gets their share o' the shekels, the rich still fork over season ticket costs, and get a FREEBIE thrown in there for good measure (someones gotta come up with a way to cover up the future stink emanating from the ice surface below this year - "hey, sure we're only 14-56 but, hey, c'mon Sal, we did give you AN EXTRA PRE-SEASON GAME FOR FREE!!!!!" ya, that'll keep 'em quiet!!!
Kudos though, Kudos all around to the brainiacs at MLSE's marketing department - how to cover up for the fact that this team will most likely fail (brutally so) to compete for a post-season spot, how well they can cover up for the fact that their LOYAL TEAM CAPTAIN OF 9 PLUS SEASONS (and 4 non-Captain years give or take) IS PROBABLY JUMPING SHIP (OR BEING THROWN OVERBOARD DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT), ohhh, how genius of them to bring in a 41 year old past time hero (I still love ya Cujo) and sprinkle some mass media on an 18-year old defenceman, that, let's face it half of us never even freakin' heard of yet we're already buying the hype that this kid's the next great NEXT GREAT ONE that's going to be our saviour - he's fuckin' 18 years old give the kid a break - he can't even buy himself the champagne that you're planning on dousing him with at the parade at Yonge and Carlton!!!!!!!!!
Free tickets. Harrumph! Bah Humbug! Nay!
So, um, how do I get a pair??
(stupid loyal-ass Leafs fans...this is why we'll NEVER win a cup again)
Done.
Peace.
EM
(Go Leafs Go!!!)
1 comment:
so it seems your newly revamped blog updates were much like your new year's resolutions...adhered to well in the beginning but too hard to maintain.
Post a Comment